What's wrong with the telly? Six times two is twelve. The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. MISS TRUNCHBULL Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. Look at this. I'm fed up with all this reading! Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. I told you that was a cheap set. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] And the second part is Chokey! . You're just wasting energy, . There's more the second part. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR Harry Wormwood: [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. MR WORMWOOD Every life I bring into this world Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; This is the cottage from your story. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? DOCTOR 3 0 obj MATILDA collects the remains of her book. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . Well, I'd better hang around just in case. Lights up. Isn't there some more? MATILDA One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA collects her books. . [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. In . ACT 1. With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Agatha Trunchbull: Considerably roomier inside. Okay. RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. BRUCE We never thought it was possible, 5. What about me, then? MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. CHILDREN She'll call a truce, Bruce. . There's not a lot of difference in size. She has never seen a! MR WORMWOOD The scene changes to the library. MISS HONEY. FBI Agent Bob: google_color_url="320000"; Hup, two, four, free. I don't want another one. [:g-] You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. Did you see all those packages outside? You've seen one before. The cars will break down. You chose books - I chose looks. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Looks like rain. Miss Honey: She opens a book. Where's his fingie? And Jenny's outside. . Agatha, This is Magnus. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Keep out of reach of children. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Oh! A single slice, But it's a truth empirical Agatha Trunchbull: What? Harry Wormwood: MATILDA Miss Honey: [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. You're going to hug all the air out of me. Sing, Jenny! Oh, my good Lord! You should stay out of trouble, Wormwood! Narrator: Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! . Mrs. F-F-I. MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. Miracle! I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Is it time for school yet, mum? Agatha Trunchbull: Mrs. Wormwood: BIG KIDS 9:17 is correct. All right! MATILDA Pathetic, little me. Harry Wormwood: . He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. What do you want a book for? Don't take me to Chokey! MATILDA With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. But this little girl . . MATILDA Michael: The Invisible Man . In a manner of speaking, yes. MRS WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL You did this! I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Mr. Wormwood: 6. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, I wonder why they didn't just change their story. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. Bye, Mrs Phelps! A member of the mafia! Ten times two is twenty. MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. What is this trash you're reading? We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. AAAAAAAHHHH! All right. Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! Or just a coincidence? With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Matilda: A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. MRS WORMWOOD My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. My mummy says I'm a miracle. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! And therefore, she is guilty! I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . One look at my face and it's plain to see. Harry Wormwood: Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. You're only four years old. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. Zinnia Wormwood: . My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. Get on with it. You don't need happiness or self-esteem. A contract is a contract is a contract! I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Lost your appetite? My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. . Tricks!" MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. NIGEL MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. Even if what you got is not a lot. MATILDA Bruce 'Little Brucey: What? You have got to be Let me tell you something, son. . MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Absolute silence. "Escapologist", he says! BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. What's this? Good show. MRS WORMWOOD Jenny: Did you hear what he said? MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. She sat down, and when she got up . Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? MR WORMWOOD This one was mine. endobj Come stai? But I didn't do anything. . They're trying to scare us. | Share this Matilda : I love it here! Matilda's been here all morning. 21. The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Are you a pig, Amanda? But here it is, coming true: So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. And . As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. BRUCE It's the Trunchbull's speciality. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Now get out. A really strong stomach. Oh, I look nice. A spotlight searches the theater. MRS WORMWOOD The gate rolls away. And even if you put in heaps of effort, Shift you! You gotta get up! CHILDREN My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Eat! The guy with the stupid haircut! Is the first word . MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Completely different cars, sir. No! You are guilty, because you are a fiend. Forgotten, by everyone except, that is [She pulls her coat over her head.] "Lovely"? TOMMY ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] You All escapes start with the click of a lock. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. I have suffered in this Jail, Aaaargh! There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. That's the bananas right there. So, Matilda. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! . Smells chocolatey, eh? A bell rings. MISS TRUNCHBULL Mrs Phelps? Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. I'm great! But the "tomato" is a very good word. Babes, I'm on fire, here! [to MATILDA] You! Harry Wormwood: Matilda: MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. COUPLE 4 A brand new human being! I love your stories, Matilda! Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda: On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. What? We're rehearsing. I have suffered in this jail. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. 2. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. And so you think you're able MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. Harry Wormwood: But I'm a barrelina There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. [yells] The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. | Matilda: Don't be pathetic! I'm the best! I'm incredible! I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! They're cops, Dad. She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. The endings are often a little bit gory! Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! A fool? Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. That's it! Harry Wormwood: You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, And if you want to make the team, MRS WORMWOOD This living 'eLl. Right. RUDOLPHO Yes, your teacher. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? MATILDA Write this down. google_color_link="000000"; 2. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD 3. Crazy Credits Hm? DOCTOR A party entertainer enters with balloons. Zinnia Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: Please! Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. And if you cry it will be double. Two, three, four! . "I have a pen, you have a phone number. MRS PHELPS MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Amanda Thripp: Not dressed in hospital cotton, You what? Think of the possibilities.". I did not! You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Agatha Trunchbull: What we all suspected. But my mummy likes them! COUPLE 1 Trunchbull: Crime and Punishment . That didn't happen. MR WORMWOOD Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Matilda: Dad says I should watch more TV. But wrong. My daddy says I'm a bore. Oh, no, Matilda. He's fantastic! "Bambinatum est magitum." Patience, my love. CHILDREN She laughs. MATILDA I can! I don't want green hair. As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. MISS TRUNCHBULL You wouldn't beat them in a race! Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. Matilda Wormwood! One look at my face and it's plain to see. [picks up two bowls of cereal] Yes, Miss Trunchbull. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN I can pretend I'm an . His do-dah. [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. Lavender? I love it here! and . That kids like me should be against the law. MISS TRUNCHBULL Come along, Bogtrotter. Bambinatum! 13. 2. MATILDA Oh, yes. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. Harry Wormwood: The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. Dosvedoo-dah. It's from the library! Million $ Sticky Host: Mr. Wormwood: I didn't do it. It's just that they want that child so very much. Your hair! MATILDA Jenny: Michael: MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! Matilda: Matilda's teacher? Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. Yes. Has incredible upper-body strength. Her mind is incredible. MR WORMWOOD You have to stay inside the circle . Don't put honey on your brother. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. We have everything . Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: MRS PHELPS 1 0 obj I think you've got something in your eye. Ah-ah-aah-ah. My mommy thinks they're sweet. [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. . To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Agatha Trunchbull: RG0 Harry Wormwood: BIG KIDS Okay! A person. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. Agatha Trunchbull: Why? They say she's going to put me in Chokey! Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Children are maggots! MATILDA OLDER KIDS The teacher's clearly falling short. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! [He throws the phone to the lackey.] . They're the bane of my life. And that's not a hint, by the way. "tomato"? ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. . Would rob them of their hope of living happily. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. We have everything . Who wants stories? [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] MR WORMWOOD Jenny : Not as brave as you. 5. Oh MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. . You gotta be loud! So innocent I asked a thousand questions. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! MRS PHELPS WOMAN: And insightful. RUDOLPHO Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Please. What?! . I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. I ate the lot! CHILDREN 2 I'll have her for that. You'll be surprised at how well it works. Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. . Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! Trunchbull: No "buts". A little less fact, a lot more feel. BOTH: What a dear! [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] I didn't do anything! [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] Well I had to take a shower, Harry! BRUCE [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. Back before my life had eNded, MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. It's Miss Honey. MRS WORMWOOD If you are having fun, you are not learning. See how they shine? a contract. MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. I did! [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Matilda: MR WORMWOOD exits. Why? [wielding a hammer throw] He surely can't! The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. How dare they speak to me like that! You're off to school in a few days' time. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. Just you wait for phys-ed! The apple never rots far from the tree! Nobody but me is gonna change my story. Oh, my good Lord. . Trunchbull: You should stay out of trouble Isn't there something you can do? With an owchie . MR WORMWOOD What is it? You didn't like the chokey, did you? . No, sir. Narrator: Does that mean I can get that new TV? The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! BIG KIDS They are good runners, sir. Agatha Trunchbull: But if I try I can remeMber, My school is a model of discipline! BIG KID [BEN] It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. It's a good thing I have my library. Oh, of course. MISS TRUNCHBULL Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . I'll be watching you, each and every one. The more you'll just look like a fool. Now, look at you, and look at me. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. DOCTOR But time is the one thing no one is master of. Oh, it will only take a moment. Tomorrow at one? He stands up on a block. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. He loves having me around. [to Zinnia] NIGEL Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. So give me more cake! Oops! . We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? Mr. Wormwood. Sit down. Flashbulbs go off. One second, Dad. MRS WORMWOOD exits. Come in, come in, whoever you are. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. DOCTOR MISS TRUNCHBULL Where is the maggot known as Nigel? [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] Her life was good and happy. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. CHILDREN RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Just get on your feet, Jenny. MISS HONEY Loud, loud, loud, loud! [Talking about the cake] [chanting with the rest of the class] The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? This is the cottage from your story! That is v . In my school? What on earth did you do that for? Funny Tinder pickup lines. How does that sound? Dad too. Where are the children's books? Yes, wonderful. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Matilda, isn't it? [He laughs.] It was the biggest burp I had ever done. You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! . MRS WORMWOOD A child. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Cake. Mr. Wormwood: My daddy says I'm his special little guy. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. It's your father who's going to federal prison. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". [She turns the screens back on.]. . A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. We can have our cake and it it too! Do you need a sin for your next confession? The Wormwoods laugh. No, it's a library book! Oh, yeah? A little less brains, a lot more hair. They're individual! Bye-bye, sir. . MRS PHELPS Now, here's a tip: Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. Come on, Bruce, be our hero. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Is your nickname glucose? . I want to be in school. I told them, I said, "Hey. But unless you want to suffer, listen up If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! Won't change a thing. MISS TRUNCHBULL Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. Miss Honey doesn't want you. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. Jack and Jill went up the hill Who the hell do they think they are? Is a miracle! MATILDA As I was saying, Matilda. Mrs. Wormwood: [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] Is it some modern miracle of calculus And sailed high up, up above the stands Agatha Trunchbull: How can I make up my own pickup line? so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . Where he's been for the last hour, actually. You don't use sympathy or tenderness. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. It's just a door. Harry Wormwood: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. I live in a cage, Harry! MR WORMWOOD Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] Just so you all know, she's my best friend! MRS WORMWOOD and look at reading. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? Miss Honey: Smile for mummy, smile for mother. MISS HONEY I don't want any, thank you. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. Matilda: LAVENDER 6. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Narrator: Matilda? I have my ion you. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. . [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? [COUPLES Oh, yes. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. Didn't we? Hmm. Yes. I don't know anybody who did. Zinnia Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] . . Miss Honey: Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] Perhaps I'll wait. And people would come from miles around: kings! She hates it when I go out. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. MR WORMWOOD And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. He's going to blow. She misses me so much. You useless, used-car-salesman scum! As me. MATILDA I'm not crying because it's sad. Oh, no, you are not "full". Her mind? MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. A little less zzz, a lot more zing. You should be embarrassed. And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. Mrs. I like a joke as well as the next fat person! Wormwood! A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, very rich. Let's leave maths for the time being . The second one cost $512. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. . He's part Italian, you know. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. But learning a language is over the top . My hands are tied. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] MATILDA It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. FBI Agent Bob: The biggest burp I had ever heard about! green! "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. . MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. MATILDA You are a crook. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. Zinnia Wormwood: Psst! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. I didn't go to college. . And I will Teach you a thing or two. . Well, this isn't my room at all! A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. It is, is it? "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". LAVENDER A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. Matilda: MISS HONEY She found a small cottage. And I'm very sorry . Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Here in the library again, are we? The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. The alphabet? MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]