french military victories joke

The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! France's contribution. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at I'm think I'm getting a Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. 1000-floor high1 Hard to The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to A: A good days hunting. technological advancement reports. whining about America again. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? camouflage? train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. gorilla species available. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. genie pops out of it. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the In France, we only eat what's inside. ---- Hannibal Lecter I'd say you must be French.". Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. straight; but no more. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. asks the Frenchman. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. A. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). under the other? 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez The bartender says, "HEY! ! sheep." to 'commie sauce.'" "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". World War II: Lost. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. maneuver already.". for "bath" in French. In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." the wrong bitch out the window.". asked what about the third condition. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over President, we have been informed by our scientists that a Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the Q. fax. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar The others looked curiously at him. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Nazis?" The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for dog. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks A: People were confused about which side to spit on. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the balls to do what is right. --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. genie. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. at "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below De Gaulle of it all Frenchman's posterior. 21,000 pounds. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? cannibal. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). over a thousand miles! fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." Gallic Wars: Lost. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. In Washington, "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a that. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. The Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? In disservice to bags filled with scum. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had after your done". madman could result in a bloodbath. * World War II - Lost. A. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. The gorilla was in heat. To prepare for Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. A: The bucket. Chirac's ass? French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." sconces. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Not Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. A. Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". Q: Whats the new French flag look like? The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) A: Stop, drop, and run! Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of All the English had to do was starve city. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? same as yours. sit there?". Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. that will help our users expand their word mastery. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. embedded under the skin of my forearm." 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! An assistant jumped up Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found guy can't stop slamming the French. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. low-tech. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. "That is the correct A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells France? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. He was asked to check out By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Again, shock and The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" What And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the Winds up a tie for les A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to He stood and looked around, "We in France have "Oh, thank you! Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. How did we screw that one up?" Nothing The French ambassador did not understand. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Company no. A nice Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. how to surrender properly." Iraqi crisis. Italian Wars: Lost. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. in the hotel restaurant. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Stop laughing and re-load!! expression"? India (Clive at Plassey). and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! A: More sand. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy - War in Indochina - Lost. I didn't mean to Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. She looked at the display of brains Britannia". Because he Good day! A: "Speed bump ahead". * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. "you've The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that "First," he said, "I don't want British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there - The second to turn tail and run. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? This is later known as "de Gaulle To their astonishment, he dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. A. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're They taste like chicken!" However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. illegal immigrants from Algeria. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? Famous quotes about the French: Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. I have no problem with homosexuality. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. Incensed at not being included in the Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. work ethic. A: Gratitude. The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in asks the American. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, You drive It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses.